Safe at Last

And on that morning, the only living thing in the close vicinity I could relate to was the spider blown about by the breeze inside my window pane.

Tossed by something out of it's control, surely feeling more insignificant and tiny than it already is. And its fragile slender limbs grasp onto threads even skinnier, and it performs the greatest tight-rope maneuver of its life as rain drops just begin dripping from a powdery sky and the green grasses are fed.

Waver one way, waver another, and it all is certain uncertainty. The only saving grace for this miniscule arachnid is something beyond its power.

And I remember amidst a difficult morning the way I am saved, though heart quarrels over a disordered distaste for pancakes. A soul feeling silly to admit its disheartened state due to a handful of chocolate chips tossed into the breakfast cake remembers what she really counts on, what really saves her.

Is it works, or being a good girl, or is it blissful dancing in a grace-known life?

 I know the answer, it is the silver cross dangling from my neck, it is the teardrop realizing the weight of an Easter Sunday service, it is my ransom and my freedom, it is my life.

And I've been in denial with everything in me, I am not sweet enough, not charming enough, not beautiful enough, though the good book tells me these things fade and really weigh to nothing.
These harsh lies settle heavily on the heart, and the tiny saving lifeline of me that I cling to is about to break. And I am blinded to the real love, the real love spread on a cross.

And the Savior-man Jesus tells someone simple words to change a life, "Do not be afraid, only believe."

That is my lifeline this morning, that is what I cling to and my command this morning, every morning. And the trees dance in the jovial breeze as if nodding in agreement, that I have heard the Lord.

Setting my house on a rock in the Word, while all around me is an amalgamation of disaster and beauty and I am unsure where I reside, I find it in more words few yet monumental in meaning: put right through faith to experience grace.

And then I am not the spider, I am not the hopeless thing wavering, feeling the falling all the time. I am clinging to faith and faith does not move. Faith is the experience of grace which I now live. To know I am free, to know I share in the glory, to know I am loved beyond imagining and that it's by nothing I could ever do.

Safe at last.