One Race to Run

In the heat of July the confession bubbles and boils over a heart that just doesn't want to admit it.

Reading the words on a blessed page never felt so uncomfortable:

¹³ Such is the destiny of all who forget God;
    so perishes the hope of the godless.
¹⁴ What they trust in is fragile^[a];
    what they rely on is a spider’s web.
¹⁵ They lean on the web, but it gives way;
    they cling to it, but it does not hold.
-Job 8:13-15

God was there though. God was there offering cool grace refreshing as I was ready to confess and know a Savior's unending capacity for my messiness. 

My confession:

My hope was not in Jesus Christ in that moment there. 

No,
my hope was in being charming and skinny,
my hope was that my wavering faith would be instantly remedied by a trip to summer orientation at my big Christian college,
my hope was that my  Christian walk would be solidified and defined by a smiling face, a fabulous volunteer resume, the convicting books I read, and the things I say. 

These things can be lovely. But they are not love, though deceitfully masked as closeness with Christ, they fall. 

Without Christ they are the spider web promising a plummet.

Words like those are painful to admit aloud, every syllable sticking with sharp truth, wondering why you deserve the healing that will follow.

But the healing came down. 

Though I've mutilated the race for Christ and made it a race for the fragile nothingness surrounding me, Christ came as soon as my cry was heard. He opened hands and heart once again to a life of praising, glorifying, and living in love Himself for eternity.

One truth, rock solid. One race to run.

What is your hope in?