Welcome to my story!
I write about my crazy and unpredictable yet grace-filled life, my faith, my poems and creative writings, and whatever inspires me that I just cannot keep to myself.
"For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified." 1 Corinthians 2:2
It's been a while since the fingers have gotten their
exercise dancing across the lettered keys here on this keyboard, but boy do
they dance with renewed fire, because they just couldn't handle their dormant
state any longer.
Not when they've been carrying the burden of this message since,
oh, you know, March.
It was after a talk with a counselor...
That wise counselor-friend asked me to put a face to the big
idol in my life,
the one that fuels my disorder in sneaky ways, using food
and exercise as a mask,
the one that makes me feel like I always have to be
the one that promises nothing but condemnation, nothing but
the one that I can boldly say, after talking to so many of
my sweet sisters in Christ, many, many of us bow down to daily, sometimes
without even knowing it.
Like that blond, plastic, flawlessly dressed
all-encompassing image of what a woman should be-- perfect body, flawless hair,
most fashionable wardrobe, picture perfect marriage, changing the world with
successful teaching, medicine, and astronaut careers, and even as President and
Ambassador of World Peace, oh and not to mention, she has defended her country
in every service (United States Air Force pilot Barbie, and Paratrooper Barbie
are just a few examples), she was an Olympic gymnast and has a heart for the
children of the world (UNICEF Summit Diplomat Barbie).
And always with a pearly white smile.
You may laugh, thinking, no one really holds
themselves to these expectations.
But, I'm here writing today because I am done shifting in my
seat wondering if anyone else feels the same way I do, has also bowed down to
this idol of the perfect woman (and boy does it get scary twisted when it
becomes the idol of the perfect Christian woman)--
that I must have the most stunning body, wear the most
fashionable clothes, run marathons and read interesting books, be charming and
funny, admirable goals and top of 10% of my class, serving selflessly in about a dozen
ministries, writing an earth-shattering blog daily, holding a great internship and having countless great job offers, one day having the most
Christ-centered marriage and one day raising the most adorable little family
that looks hand-tailored for all of social media to gawk and gape at...
How often do we exhaust ourselves to appease this Barbie
Yet, the Lord reminds me it is by my imperfections that He
receives glory, the real glory that just makes this exhausted attempt at my own
perfect and prideful glory look silly,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is
perfected in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9
and that grace, it doesn't come to the already perfect, it
doesn't require, well, really anything at all.
it's a gift
and my Savior, the one who bestows that very grace, He
unearths the plastic little lie embodied in this Barbie perfection.