simple snow flakes falling sweet and soft graces my cheeks with chill,
and my heart worn right numb by the shocking news of a friend's diagnosis,
and prayer becomes more passionate,
and faith becomes more tested,
and questions become more furious and loud.
Yet in contrast to the storms of my soul,
my eyes dance trying to follow the frozen water beauties poured from the sky.
Simple like the fact that sustained me in moments of guilt.
guilt thinking of my friend and cancer and all the real suffering in the world and how I let these stupid lies tell me that the impossible towers I scurry about with worry and doubt day in and day out are worth building: idolatrous towers of perfection and looking skinny and shiny and being invincible.
How wasteful of my precious time here.
How minimal compared to the glory of the Gospel, the real simple that God breathes as a gift when we breath Him in.
Because He soothed me over all with the simple verse in Psalms when I cracked open my Bible with tears for my friend, tears for how screwed up my conception of life and what matters is,
He soothed me with this:
In the face of the storms,
the insurmountable things like death,
like eating disorders,
like the heart break,
even the decay of the body,
or the hope-flame flickering after life blows like a hurricane.
His voice is heard.
It has the final say.
Not just a whisper, not some faint thing mixed in with storm-- He's over the storm.
High above it.
The lightning of His promise-- it cuts right through the dark like a dagger.
And it always wins over the dark.
It echoes constant, that following thunder.
Echoes over trail, over turmoil.
Yes, that's the hope I hope in.
That's the God I praise.
Because a dear sister told me that day, over lunch, how she feared and she fretted over the things of this world.
And then the simple won again, and she asked herself: "So what? So what if my fear comes true? I come closer to God in the trial. And that is the sweetest thing."
God has healed for eternity,
He has won for eternity.
And His gifts of Himself are forever.
Simple as that.