Saturday, March 9, 2013

Just along for the ride

"But seek first His Kingdom, and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
-Matthew 6:33

Seeking the Kingdom. 

Sounds like work to me on days when the rain falls heavy and freezing, and the car is sputtering labored breaths to warm up its engine and turn the wheels, and fighting words are exchanged between mother and I, and its mostly my fault, and I am late to class and there are five essays to write and six hours of work to be done and a room to clean not enough hours in the day to live in this way.

Guilt quickly attacks the heart. 

How selfish, your problems are nothing. There are children starving, wars terrorizing lives, and you complain about silly things like this.
 You aren't doing enough to seek the Kingdom.

Failure is imminent and I lower my head in this shame.

But I can't see His Kingdom with a head lowered like that. 

His Kingdom is to be lived. It's for my eyes to breathe in the world taking in the fragrances of God's simplistically grand glories everywhere. 

The light reflecting off the linoleum classroom floor.

The door held by a stranger.

The sound of crows "caw-ing" in the early morning.

The sizzle of eggs on a fry pan.

Prayers said while driving my car, sweet words said alone.



Seeking His Kingdom is feeling out for the pain of my brothers and sisters with the compassionate feelers of my Savior's heart in me. The searching for ways to be God's blessing.

The elderly student at my school struggling to carry her bags because of her arthritis. 

The friend exhausted from hours at work and the loss of a family member.

The mother who made dinner, did laundry, and is just about to do the dishes.

The girl sitting next to me who just spilled an entire mug of coffee on the floor.

But this hunt for Jesus need not be added to the list of things I do inadequately, the laundry list of things I need to achieve, accomplish, and strive to be. 

He's already done it.

I found this beautiful truth praying with a best friend in a chilled spare bedroom on my favorite night of the week, my Young Adult's Group. She felt out for my hurting heart, seeing my need to be refreshed and renewed. And we prayed for the truth.

The truth that I just need trust the Savior and Creator of all this fantastic planet. 

The truth that this grand hunt for goodness and Jesus and holy and beauty is done through me, not by me.

And I suddenly get the thrill, the pure joy of being whisked away on this grand adventure, this phenomenal Safari in a world born anew with blessing after blessing.

Why, if I put in my own effort, wouldn't all the fun and joy be taken away?

Just trust.

Just believing His words when he says to me with a patience that bursts with grace:

I have begun a good work in you, and I will carry it on until my coming.
-Philippians 1:6 (paraphrased)

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