The Word nudges my heart awaiting answers.
Tell me, it beckons, will you roll around forever in this painful wrapping of lies like swine roll in the muck and mire?
The exposure makes me tremble.
Like I trembled on Sunday, as my sisters in Christ and I explored these treacherous waters, our boats of comfort being rocked and flung by choppy thunderous waves of truth and revelation; our fearful hearts afraid to shed the facade we'd worked so hard to construct, like a child clings to a blankie.
Me, Jess, and the young ladies. Steaming coffee and tea mugs shot steam up into air filled with dangerous genuineness threatening to conquer whatever feeble protective armies guarded our doubts and fears and insecurities from the God who sees all.
We hide from this God.
Hide doubts.
Hide true feelings.
All the while Jesus Christ walked on water, calling to us from our pathetic vessels of comfort, shouting in furious pursuit, "Come, follow!"
Yes, this Jesus, the man who conquered sin and death. Who knows every fiber in our being. Who promises all to those who don't deserve. Owner of all glory and light.
Yet, we still resist.
Praise for the surrender. For the uncovered prayer we prayed that day in my living room, air saturated with vulnerable honesty, poking at the invitation to surrender all as if it were some alien creature, but all the while confessing our doubts and things we wanted to work on and fears and anxieties,
and knowing God.
knowing Freedom.
knowing our Help.
Seeing a golden glory sunshine-y horizon amidst the storm.
And taking that step of faith onto water once so yielding, now solid when the goal is the open-armed embrace of a Savior.
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