Monday, April 22, 2013

When a small, silly panic made a revelation

I smile, nearly giggling, as I write these words, feeling like a juvenile teenie bopper, like a casualty of the digital age. With a deep breath:

my eye-opening trial today was a day without a cell phone.

I admit feeling silly, the moment I realized it was missing from my school bag the heart clenched up, choking in panic, as if I had forgotten a wallet or a final paper.
Or worse.

Too late to turn around. Too scheduled, gas too expensive to make the trek back to retrieve it, 35 minutes each way.

The decision: a day without a cell phone.

Feeling naked without an electronic device the size of my palm, anxieties arise of breaking down on the highway without a means of communication, impulses to check it moment by moment as natural as the breathing in and out, feeling lost without checking the time every five minutes-

One word: slavery.

My forgetfulness becomes a monumental blessing, a pivotal point in the day of one seeking God passionately, as a child fumbling through life messy and clumsy but loved extravagantly.

Oh if I were as impulsive about prayer.

Oh if every five minutes I was itching for God's words.

The condition of my heart was found in losing something.

Today, I was reminded how I complicated the simple trusting of the Almighty Father.

And did I mention I got more work done, I felt more connected to my Creator through disconnect with the world, I did not die, I did not lose track of all time, I did not miss a thing.

No, I was set free.
 Chains broken free, chains freely broken.
 Grace made big in a mishap, grace expanded in a shortcoming.

Reminded in freedom from a phone that I am free from this world, reminded that the Lord is indeed my Shepherd, He is all I need.

Feeling foolish, but wiser still in my foolishness, for the Lord worked and spoke and loved today.

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