One word encompassing the chains around my heart, chains of lies linked by fortified "not-enough's."
I don't care enough.
I don't love enough.
I don't suffer enough for the Kingdom's cause.
I don't live for Him radically enough.
I don't do enough ministry.
I don't donate enough money.
I don't know about you, but I've had enough of the word, "enough."
it robs me of the very joy of my salvation,
that salvation where the "not enough" is replaced by "My grace is enough,"
and I hate that darkness without joy in Him, because that joy, it's everything.
And where do you find the strength when knees are weak and you're fighting, fighting to cling to this legalism that has tricked you into thinking you can earn that "grace enough" by beating the soul tired with the "not enoughs?"
You let the knees bend and break.
And you get back to the enough that will produce grace upon grace that becomes more than enough.
Like Paul said in these sweet words:
It all just comes back to loving Him, by His power.
I cannot convict myself to figure out some new way to surrender to Him.
I cannot produce a great big divine calling.
I cannot produce my own joy in salvation.
But my strength will come from His power, His understanding of His miraculous crazy over-my-head unsearchable endless unconditional love.
Dwelling there, loving Him, it's really the enough that's worth it, the only one that counts or lasts.
Dwelling there, loving Him with all I've got,
not letting the vital truth found in His love get lost in my aimless shuffle running from one qualification to another that proves that I love a Savior for all to see,
nor do I lose it in the frustrating focus on the big plans for the future that I just can't get a handle of, swelled up by pride, driven by fear of not being enough for God when I graduate college,
no, I'll be small with Him right here,
let God be big,
let God do the convicting,
let God do the working,
let God do the loving,
and let God be glorious!
What a great place to be.