Saturday, February 8, 2014

Enough with Enough -- Part II

It's wild how God works when our eyes are closed,
when there's no way we could possibly have a clue what He's doing,
and He surprises us in splendid shockers that never cease to humble and save.

Just after I had been beckoned by my Lord
through that beloved Bible study,
through heart to heart with a dear friend,
through humbly breaking, bending the knees, and returning to the one place that really matters,
the one place that is the wellspring that splashes and thunders with victorious life in all the driest desolate places: His love.

He surprised me when I least expected it.

Exposed wounds from the weapons of legalism
those lies telling me I did not do enough ministry,
 did not do enough good deeds,
to meet some special checklist that qualifies me to be on some other silly level of super spiritual Christian.
Try harder the lies urged try harder because you're just failing. God's just not glorified in You.
What an awful accusation when that's all you really want.

Then surrendering all this to Him, God showed me it's by His power, and the grace of dwelling in His love, that great things get done for His glory and His kingdom.
And I need not, cannot, do a thing.
Literally, He did it while eyes were closed and the mind was lost in dreams and the breathing was slow and soft.
Yes, He did it while I was sleeping.

Sleeping there in my dorm room, buried in brightly colored comforter and pillows, I felt a gentle shake from that new sweet sister that had just moved onto my hall.
"Rachel?" she whispered gently, "If it weren't important, I wouldn't wake you. Sorry."
"What's up?" I garbled, surely groggy and less than glamorous for such an occasion to glorify God.
"Do you know any Bible verses about God's will for you life?" she asked from her half broken heart, "Because I think God might have put us together in this hall for a reason, since you seem to be mature in your faith."

Did she know that I had been struggling,
that I had made myself a vulnerable mess just hours ago at my Bible study pouring out all the things I needed to figure out, to be healed from,
that I was in that dry season all those Christians always talked about, that I was SO far from "getting it?"

Together we talked for an hour,
and in this blessing she shared with me the things troubling her heart,
and we poured over scripture,
and felt healed wounds by knowing where to go together-- right to our Daddy's embrace.

That message I'd heard just hours before at a Bible study that seemed so perfectly catered to fit the time I travel through now?
Well guess what-- it's a perfect fit for her too.

Because we all need to dwell in the love of Christ,
to be made small there
and allow Him to accomplish,
Him to work,
Him to get great glory,
Him to be enough,
and nothing else seems to matter when you realize that one glimmering eternal treasure is yours forever.

After all of it, and I'd turned out the lights to slumber once more, I found myself wildly smiling,
heart racing at the joy that the Lord had renewed in me,
all I could do not to laugh crazy to myself,
that the Lord had shown me I do not have to do a thing but dwell in His love,
and He does the rest.

Literally opening up opportunities when I'm in the epitome of not trying: sleeping, for goodness' sake!

For when you dwell right there in His love,
and nothing else,
no expectations,
no condemnation,
no accusations,
no qualifications,
and when "enough" is only used to describe His grace,
and when legalism finds its place to die right there with all the other sins, right there on that cross,
well it's wide open for Him to work in wondrous ways.

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